The article below was written by Atty. Remigio Saladero, Jr. and stolen from Pinoy Weekly .
ANG pagiging mapagbiro ay likas sa mga Pilipino. Kahit gaano kaseryoso o kasensitibo ang isang bagay, nagagawa pa ring magpatawa ng mga Pinoy. Ang katangiang pagtawanan ang ating kalagayan at pasayahin ang ating mga sarili, ayon sa mga dalubhasa, ay nakakatulong sa atin upang pagaanin ang bigat ng hirap na dulot ng buhay.
Ngunit may mga pagkakataon na ang pagbibiro ay ginagawa ng mamamayan hindi lamang upang pasayahin ang kanilang mga sarili kundi, upang ilabas ang kanilang pagkamuhi o pagkainis sa isang tao o situwasyon. Nangyari ito noong panahon ng diktadurang Marcos. Naglipana noon ang mga Marcos jokes. Nangyari din ito ng panahon ni Pang. Erap. Inulan din tayo noon ng Erap jokes. At ngayon ay umiikot na rin ang mga Gloria jokes.
Napabagsak ng People Power si Marcos. Napabagsak din ng People Power si Erap. Mapababagsak din kaya ng People Power si Pang. Gloria ? Ang lakas ng kilusang masa ang magpapasya nito. Ngunit batay sa mga Gloria jokes na naglipana, mukhang suklam na suklam na sa kanya ang mamamayan. Halina at tunghayan natin ang ilan sa mga Gloria jokes na ito :
* * *
Lumubog daw ang barkong sinasakyan nina Pang. GMA. Mabuti na lamang at may isang binatang magaling lumangoy. Naisalba nito si Pang. GMA.
Tuwang-tuwa si Pang. GMA sa binata. “Anong regalo ang gusto mo mula sa akin ?,” tanong niya rito.
“Gusto ko po ng wheelchair”, sagot ng binata.
“Bakit wheelchair?” sabi ni Pang. GMA. “Hindi ka naman lumpo?”
“’Yun na nga po,” sabi ng binata. “’Pag nalaman kasi ng tatay ko na niligtas ko kayo, tiyak na lulumpuhin ako noon!”
* * *
Pumunta si Pang. GMA sa isang pari. Ang sabi ni Pang. GMA, “Padre, mangungumpisal po ako.
“Nagsinungaling ako sa mamamayang Pilipino.” Sumagot ang pari, “Sige, magsimba ka sa susunod na Linggo. Basahin mo ang Mathew, Chapter 17 sa bibliya at iyon ang tatalakayin ko sa aking sermon.”
Pagdating ng Linggo, nagsimba nga si Pang. GMA. Nagtanong ang pari, “Ang sermon ko ngayon ay tungkol sa mga sinungaling. Sino sa inyo ang nakapagbasa ng Mathew, Chapter 17 ?”
“Ako!” sagot ni Pang. GMA. Sumagot ang pari, “Kayo ang klase ng taong gusto kong pag-usapan. Walang Matthew, Chapter 17 sa Bibliya. Tuloy ang sermon ko tungkol sa mga sinungaling.”
* * *
Pumunta kay Nostradamus ang mga pinuno ng mga Third World countries upang tingnan kung ano ang mangyayari sa kanilang mga bansa sa ilalim ng kanilang pamumuno.
Unang nagtanong ang pangulo ng Myanmar. “Mahal na propeta,” sabi niya. “Ano ang mangyayari sa aming bansa sa ilalim ng aking pamumuno?”
Tiningnan ni Nostradamus ang kanyang bolang kristal at ipinakita sa pangulo ng Myanmar. Hinimatay ang pangulo ng Myanmar sa kanyang nakita.
Sumunod naman ng pangulo ng Laos: “Ano ang mangyayari sa aming bansa kapag tinapos ko ang aking panunungkulan?” tanong niya. Tiningnan ni Nostradamus ang kanyang bolang kristal. Nang makita ito ng pangulo ng Laos, bigla itong hinimatay.
Sumunod naman si Pang. GMA. “Ano po ang mangyayari sa Pilipinas kapag ipinagpatuloy ko ang aking panunungkulan?” tanong niya kay Nostradamus. Tiningnan ni Nostradamus ang kanyang bolang kristal.
Bigla na lang hinimatay si Nostradamus.
* * *
Ini-interview ang mga pro-GMA na nagra-rally sa Quezon City Welcome Rotonda.
Announcer: Hinakot ba kayo rito?
Ralyista: Hindi po!
Announcer: Tinakot ba kayo?
Ralyista: Hindi po!
Announcer: Binayaran ba kayo?
Ralyista: Hindi pa po!
* * *
Medical Bulletin: Bumagsak daw sa medical examination si Pang. GMA, sabi ng doktor sa Malacañang. Nadiskubre daw kasi ng doktor na “There is nothing Left on the Right side of her brain and there is nothing Right on the Left side of her brain, either.”
* * *
Sakay daw ng eroplano si Pang. GMA at si Comm. Garcillano. Natanaw nila ang isang bayan sa Mindanao.
Garcillano: Panalo ka sa bayang ito. Kung maghuhulog ka ng P1 million, tiyak matutuwa ang bayang ito.
Pang. GMA : Bakit P1 million lang. Dapat P5 million ang ihulog natin. Tiyak buong probinsiya ang matutuwa.
Piloto : Tumahimik nga kayo. Kapag kayong dalawa ang inihulog ko rito, tiyak buong Pilipinas ang matutuwa!
* * *
Aba naman Gloria
puno ka ng grasya
Ang yaman ng tao’y sumaiyo na
Bukod kang nandaya sa babaeng lahat
Pinagpala rin
asawamo’t anak
wala nang natira sa
AMEN!
* * *
Similarities between CLINTON and GMA:
Both studied at GEORGETOWN.
Both became PRESIDENTS.
Both got EMBROILED in CONTROVERSIES. One involving his CIGAR and the other, her GARCI
* * *
Ang pagdami ng mga Gloria jokes ay pahiwatig ng patuloy na pagkasuklam ng mga mamamayang Pilipino sa kasalukuyang admi-nistrasyon. Ganunpaman, habang patuloy ang pag-ikot ng nasabing mga biro ay dapat pa nating pag-ibayuhin ang pag-oorganisa at pagkilos upang tuluyan na nating mapatalsik ang pinakamalaking biro sa ating buhay: ang administrasyong Macapagal-Arroyo.
Thursday, July 07, 2005
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
Oust Gloria Petition. Sign and Spread the palaman este the word
Nasa baba po ang isang petisyon na sinimulan ng aking grupong kinabibilangan, ang Kilometer64.
You can go to this site to sign the online petition.
We are poets and other writers who fully agree with National Artist Napoleon Abueva’s recent declaration calling on President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo to resign from her post. Her fraudulent victory in the May 2004 election – together with her record of economic and political maladministration, subservience to foreign vested interests and suppression of the most basic human freedoms – have rendered her totally unfit to stay in Malacañang a day more.
As writers, we remember that one of Macapagal-Arroyo’s first – and gravest – offenses was against the freedom of expression, a basic right enshrined in no less than the Philippine Constitution and much treasured by literary and other cultural workers. Her banning of Live Show, a well-researched film about how extreme poverty forces many of our countrymen into the darkest depths of self-degradation in exchange for food on the table – one of the President’s oft-repeated promises – was one of the very first issues against her.
In contrast, she has not even lifted a finger against the most brazen displays of obscenity by noontime show hosts and so-called “singers” and “actors” who have lent their names to her various propaganda gimmicks.
Macapagal-Arroyo’s total absence of even the slightest respect for freedom of expression would be further shown not only by her administration’s various attempts to gag the media and the cultural sector, but also by her government’s bestowing of significant national awards to, among others, self-appointed literary mentors who have made a living out of discouraging novice writers from taking the path of social concern – thus severely limiting the possibilities of development for literature in the Philippines, a country plagued by ages-old societal ills that clamor to be written about.
Clearly, Macapagal-Arroyo views the act of luring beginning writers into taking the road of apathy to the nation’s plight – in contrast to the sterling traditions of Dr. Jose Rizal, our National Hero; and Amado V. Hernandez, himself a National Artist for Literature – and deceptively leading them along the path of treachery to the people, as a significant contribution to the development of Philippine literature and culture.
Macapagal-Arroyo asks that we sing hosannas to those who sell us the most dangerous hallucinogens amid an over-all national condition that calls for the most sober thoughts and actions.
On top of all these, Macapagal-Arroyo would even attempt to conscript writers and other cultural workers for her government’s hypocritical campaign to propagate an “anti-corruption” culture. The current occupant of Malacañang, whose name has figured in more than ten large-scale corruption scandals, is in absolutely no position to instill anti-corruption values in the minds and hearts of the people.
Her brand of anti-corruption culture is one that punishes those who blow the whistle on the big fish – like former Public Estates Authority (PEA) director Sulficio Tagud, Jr., Rear Admiral Guillermo Wong of the Philippine Navy, and Landbank teller Acsa Ramirez – while keeping the guns trained on the small fry. It is an anti-corruption culture that will only teach the people – particularly the young – that petty crime does not pay but high crime pays big time.
For these, we demand that President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo step out of Malacañang, and we commit to either joining or supporting all actions aimed at her ouster as a prerequisite to building a transition council that would pave the way for reforms that would go beyond the scope of a mere regime change.
Enough is enough, Mrs. President. It is time to finish the final chapter of your book.
You can go to this site to sign the online petition.
We are poets and other writers who fully agree with National Artist Napoleon Abueva’s recent declaration calling on President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo to resign from her post. Her fraudulent victory in the May 2004 election – together with her record of economic and political maladministration, subservience to foreign vested interests and suppression of the most basic human freedoms – have rendered her totally unfit to stay in Malacañang a day more.
As writers, we remember that one of Macapagal-Arroyo’s first – and gravest – offenses was against the freedom of expression, a basic right enshrined in no less than the Philippine Constitution and much treasured by literary and other cultural workers. Her banning of Live Show, a well-researched film about how extreme poverty forces many of our countrymen into the darkest depths of self-degradation in exchange for food on the table – one of the President’s oft-repeated promises – was one of the very first issues against her.
In contrast, she has not even lifted a finger against the most brazen displays of obscenity by noontime show hosts and so-called “singers” and “actors” who have lent their names to her various propaganda gimmicks.
Macapagal-Arroyo’s total absence of even the slightest respect for freedom of expression would be further shown not only by her administration’s various attempts to gag the media and the cultural sector, but also by her government’s bestowing of significant national awards to, among others, self-appointed literary mentors who have made a living out of discouraging novice writers from taking the path of social concern – thus severely limiting the possibilities of development for literature in the Philippines, a country plagued by ages-old societal ills that clamor to be written about.
Clearly, Macapagal-Arroyo views the act of luring beginning writers into taking the road of apathy to the nation’s plight – in contrast to the sterling traditions of Dr. Jose Rizal, our National Hero; and Amado V. Hernandez, himself a National Artist for Literature – and deceptively leading them along the path of treachery to the people, as a significant contribution to the development of Philippine literature and culture.
Macapagal-Arroyo asks that we sing hosannas to those who sell us the most dangerous hallucinogens amid an over-all national condition that calls for the most sober thoughts and actions.
On top of all these, Macapagal-Arroyo would even attempt to conscript writers and other cultural workers for her government’s hypocritical campaign to propagate an “anti-corruption” culture. The current occupant of Malacañang, whose name has figured in more than ten large-scale corruption scandals, is in absolutely no position to instill anti-corruption values in the minds and hearts of the people.
Her brand of anti-corruption culture is one that punishes those who blow the whistle on the big fish – like former Public Estates Authority (PEA) director Sulficio Tagud, Jr., Rear Admiral Guillermo Wong of the Philippine Navy, and Landbank teller Acsa Ramirez – while keeping the guns trained on the small fry. It is an anti-corruption culture that will only teach the people – particularly the young – that petty crime does not pay but high crime pays big time.
For these, we demand that President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo step out of Malacañang, and we commit to either joining or supporting all actions aimed at her ouster as a prerequisite to building a transition council that would pave the way for reforms that would go beyond the scope of a mere regime change.
Enough is enough, Mrs. President. It is time to finish the final chapter of your book.
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